Inevitable Signs of Aging

Well, it had to happen sometime I suppose: I'm at the stage and age in my life where I've realised that not only is time marching on, but it's marching all over my face! I have developed what we all call laughter lines - although frankly nothing's that funny - and when I bend down to pick something up off the floor, I ask myself if there's anything else I could be doing whilst I'm down there.

Keith - who is three years older than I - has for a while now spent considerable time in front of the mirror pulling out the grey hairs he can see from the front and side of his head. I haven't the heart to tell him of the Mallen streak at the back!

Although I too am greying distinguishably, I have taken solace in the fact that my grey hair has not yet ventured south. Imagine then my horror when I happened upon the longest, thickest and whitest pubic hair imaginable - I was simply beyond consolation; heartbroken I was - wailing like a banshee. I spent the afternoon drinking cocoa and ordering myself a big slipper from http://www.youareoldnowhaha.com/. All I had to look forward to now was a moustache, hairy warts and inexorably long and yellowing toe nails, oh the despair. I always thought old age was for other people; and I got zero sympathy from Keith, who impatiently told me to pull myself together as my singular big, long, thick and white pubic hair was in fact a tampon string. Oops.