School Holidays - DAY 4!

Well, here we are; DAY 4 of the Easter Holidays and I still have a surprising amount of hair left on my head - albeit greying faster than the speed of light! It's amazing just how much stuff kids want, and the metronomic frequency in which they want it. I have started noticing a pattern though: every time my arse is within 3 inches of a seat, Bart will either throw up in a manner befitting an "Exorcist" audition, or Sarah will want a) a drink, b) some food - 30 minutes following her last meal, c) some paper to cut into shredletts and scatter liberally around the house, c) a poo or d) for me to drive her across town to play at a friend's house, or all of the above. Sarah is especially good with the guilt thing; she's a smart girl who is fully aware of Bart's routine, and will wait until I'm in the middle of feeding/changing/bathing him before she asks if I can play a game with her - or even more guilt-worthy - help her with her homework. Then the delightful little darling is so well versed on my likely responses that she has a special "...it's okay Mummy, I understand why you have no time for me..." face. Another aspect to this pattern is that whenever James is napping, or in bed for the night, all motivation towards homework and parental interaction is gone baby - now Polly Pockets are infinitely more interesting than I, where they were just merely boring before. Anticipating these ploys from the manipulative mindset of a five year-old, I had my guilt button surgically removed before she was born, seasoned to taste with urea and sprinkled over Maleficent's sour lemon and piss flavoured breakfast cereal, which explains how she manoeuvres her facial features into their default position, I guess. As time and five year-olds wait for no one, I must be away to see (as if I didn't already know) what DAY 5 brings me. Remember me fondly!